How do you settle a crying child in the first days of nursery?
Settle a crying child with a warm welcome, a short and confident goodbye from the parent, a familiar comfort object, a key adult who stays close, and an engaging activity. Acknowledge feelings ("You miss Mummy; she will come after lunch"). Many schools use gradual settling with shorter days at first. Most children settle within a few weeks.
What this means in practice
Separation anxiety is normal for young children. It shows a healthy attachment to parents; the teacher's job is to become a second secure base.
Before the first day
- Share a photo of the teacher and classroom
- Encourage parents to talk positively about school
- Suggest a comfort item from home
On the day
- Greet the child by name at their level
- Ask parents to say a short, clear goodbye and not sneak away
- Offer a favourite activity such as water play or bubbles
- Tell the child what comes next and when parents return
- Message parents a reassuring update
Helping parents through settling
Parents often feel anxious too. Reassure them, explain your settling plan, suggest they avoid sneaking away and offer a short update message. A parent who seems calm helps the child feel safe.
Practical next steps
- Plan gradual settling.
- Assign a key adult.
- Keep routines predictable.
- Update parents.
What to keep in mind
If a child remains very distressed after several weeks, discuss with parents and consider a longer settling plan.
Common follow-up questions
How long does nursery settling take?
Often one to four weeks; it varies.
Should parents stay in class?
Briefly at first in some schools, then gradually less.
Sources
Course facts come from APTTI's published course pages. Examples use made-up names. How these answers are prepared.